Don't Make Me Say Goodbye
by VoyICJ
Summary: A short moment between Richard and Emily, based on S7 spoilers


Disclaimer: The CW and uhm... ASP? Still? I don't own it one way or the other.

Summary: A short moment between Richard and Emily. Based on spoilers for S7, so if you're unspoiled, don't read it.

Dedication: To lilienprinzessin, who else? Thanks hun!

**Don't Make Me Say Goodbye**

Emily was standing at the far side of the living room, rearranging the flowers. She had been doing this for the past hour and a half and the tears had never stopped streaming down her cheeks. Would it be like this from now on? Would she have to find things to busy herself in the large and empty house?

She picked up one of the peach coloured roses and put it back into the bouquet… she had been moving the same rose for the past hour and it still didn't seem to fit. Nothing made sense anymore.

She had wanted to avoid crying when he was present, but now he was locked away in his study. Without any doubt he was busy organizing some things. His testament, probably, insurance matters surely. Another tear rolled down her cheek and splashed onto the flowers. It had been two days since the diagnosis and another week till the surgery. The doctors had told them that there was a good chance he was going to make it, even though his heart was weak-which meant yet another risk that the surgery might take a disastrous turn. She had been the one thinking positively, she had been the one smiling bravely and telling him that a pacemaker surgery wasn't the worst thing that could happen. She had been the one telling Lorelai and Rory in light tones about the surgery, about what the doctors where doing- that they would stop his heart. She had been the rock of the family, because someone had to. But an hour ago, while she was sorting through some shelves in a vain attempt to distract herself, she had found a picture of them that had somehow not been put into an album. It had been the day of their vow renewal. Their tender kiss at the altar. The picture had done it, she had felt the tears pooling in her eyes, but she had swallowed them. She had gathered enough strength to smile at him when he told her that he was going into his study. But then she had lost it, all the resolve went out of the window and she wasn't sure whether she'd be able to control herself, should he come out of his study again. She wanted to be strong for him- she had to be strong for him.

He silently watched her from the doorway. She obviously hadn't heard him emerging from his study again. He only saw her back, but he knew that she was crying. Her hands were trembling when she picked up a flower and her shoulders were shaking ever so slightly. She had been extremely brave in the past few days and he was incredibly proud of her- and grateful. In a time where he suddenly couldn't think clearly anymore, she had taken the family reign into her hands and organized everything. She had informed Lorelai and Rory, she had taken their fears away. She had cancelled every meeting he had and she had quietly allowed him to come to term with his diagnosis. She had allowed him to take long walks of his own, hadn't forced him to talk and had smiled at him every time he had entered a room.

But he knew that she had taken the news badly. Sometimes he would catch her fearful and worried looks and she seemed to have aged in the past days. They all seemed to have grown older those past two days.

He quietly walked towards her and put his hands on her shoulders. He gently massaged them, knowing that she needed time to swallow her tears.

Emily had heard him approaching- the sound of his steps familiar to her. She felt him stopping behind her and resting his hands on her shoulders. She was trying to stop her tears from falling, but they only spilled faster. She was fighting hard not to break down sobbing when she felt him gently patting her back. She knew that she couldn't turn around to face him, because then her strength would completely leave her. For a few minutes they stood like that, neither one saying a word, but then Richard stopped the gentle patting of her back. Emily closed her eyes briefly, fighting for the courage to turn around.

When she heard him stepping away from her again, she turned around in a hurry. She didn't want him to leave her alone again.

Richard was glad when she suddenly turned around. He wanted to take her into his arms, wanted to feel her. He wanted to be the strong one again.

Her eyes were red and swollen, but she still managed to take his breath away, as she had done ever since he had first met her. He quietly opened his arms for her, a gentle look on his face and it didn't take her more than a few seconds to rush into them. He hugged her to him protectively and pressed her tightly to himself as he felt silent sobs racking her body. He closed his eyes and rested his head on top of hers.

Emily once again marvelled at the feeling of touching him. It felt so good to be in his arms, but at the same time she wondered how many more times she would be able to do this. Memories of their time together flooded her mind and this time she allowed herself to break down. She felt him gently kissing the top of her head and tightened her grip on him.

They didn't know how long they stood there like this, no words spoken, simply clinging to each other. When they parted again, Richard softly wiped Emily's tears away with his thumb and then bent down to kiss her gently. She rested her head on his chest after the short kiss and listened to his breath. She didn't want the moment to end, but she knew that she had to get a grip on herself. It didn't help them to lose it now, wouldn't help them to wallow in fear and self-pity.

"Are you okay?" Richard asked quietly and Emily nodded.

"Yes, I am," Emily answered and put a gentle hand on his cheek. "There's no need to cry, is there?" she asked and pleaded for him to assure her.

"Of course not," Richard answered, fulfilling his role. Emily nodded solemnly.

"As long as you don't forget that I am the one, who is going to go first, everything is fine," Emily said- trying to sound as light as she could. Richard didn't reply to that, but pulled her close to him once more. She allowed him to embrace her for a short moment, before she pulled away- already feeling a knot in her stomach again. She looked into his loving eyes and returned his soft smile.

"Well, I guess I'll better call Stepsen now, I have to prepare him for some meetings during my absence," Richard said and Emily was glad that he planned ahead and didn't simply stop caring. It gave her hope that he thought about the future.

"Do that, you know you can't trust those co-workers of yours," Emily said firmly. Richard grinned at her. He loved it when she was like that.

"Everything is alright?" he asked again and Emily nodded.  
"Everything is just fine, Richard, I am good," Emily answered dutifully. Richard nodded and turned around to march back into his office. He didn't hear Emily's last whispered words. "As long as you don't make me say goodbye."

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Told you it was a short moment... leave a review, won't you? Thank you very much! 


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